As heart-centered, compassionate humans it can be easy to feel into another person’s pain. And when we care about that person, it’s natural to want to help him or her find inner peace, ease, and joy again. We almost make ourselves responsible for their personal growth instead of simply being there to listen and hold space.
Has this ever happened to you?
Recently, I found myself in a situation with a new friend where I completely let go of healthy boundaries and wanted to help her overcome a very unhealthy habit and personal challenge in her life. I found myself getting sucked into her issues and feeling the need to rescue her over and over again.
Talk about an unhealthy cycle. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was allowing her low, negative energy to bring me down. So I took a step back and established firm boundaries that allowed me to take care of myself first, while also being a friend.
Not easy!
Find out how I did it in today’s video, and be sure to join the conversation below. I want to hear all about your experience being pulled into someone’s negative energy.
Comments
Ashwini 08/21/16
Well said Nitika! I have experienced the same in my life. I am 36 years old and i was mad at myself for taking this long to understand the concept of boundaries in any relationship. I recently came across Heather Havrilesky’s column in New York magazine (see link below) which gave me insight into psychology of co-dependent people and that finally gave me a sense of closure. At the end of the day we need to realize that not everybody has the same level of mental awareness or intelligence and it is always best to recognize our limits and do what is needed.
It is also hard for us to change our way and quit cold turkey. Going forward, if i meet someone that has a lot of issues- i will give them some pep talk and ask them to seek professional help in the long run and step back. I guess we all learn the hard way 🙂
Lately, we have also been seeing a lot of posts on social media about being kind, sharing love, telling people they are magical etc. but there is no warning about doing it in a healthy or realistic way
http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/07/ask-polly-how-do-i-dump-my-crappy-best-friend.html
Nitika 08/22/16
Thank you so much for your comment + for sharing that link Ashwini! What you wrote is so true, I am glad to see that it resonated with you and I hope more and more people share about healthy boundaries because they are SO important!! Lots of love xx
Amy Dowty 08/23/16
Love the part about prayer. Trusting God to take care of us and all those we love is so important in my life.
Nitika 08/23/16
Thanks Amy! I of course, totally agree. Lots of love xx