In my early twenties, I fell madly in love, got married, and lived in a beautiful New York City apartment with a mother of pearl set in every doorway. Our lifestyle was romantic and fancy, and I looked up to my husband immensely. He was my everything and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him.
One day, that all changed. Our relationship started to unravel and we got divorced. I was 24, heartbroken, and living on my own for the first time. Of course, I dove into therapy and a spiritual practice so that I had the support I needed to work through the pain. I met friends who were healers, did family constellation work, and reiki.
Slowly, my emotional wounds started to heal, but I found myself feeling completely betrayed by my intuition. You see, marrying my first husband was not a mental choice; it was a knowingness in my core that I was meant to be with him.
In today’s video, I share the realization that helped me heal this feeling and allowed me to trust myself again.
I’d love to hear if you’ve had an experience like this. What did you do to cope? Please share your experience in the comments below.
Comments
Elizabeth 08/02/15
Love this! At the age of 48, I am finally learning to listen to my heart, my gut, and my intuition. For years
I just listened to my head. Using my heart more has led me down so many wonderful paths, although it is being met with resistance from some people in my life because I am changing things up. My true friends, however, love what they see. This video was helpful to prepare me for the times when there is some pain in following my intuition. Love you and love what you are doing!
Nitika 08/02/15
Wow Elizabeth that’s incredible – thank you for sharing your journey with me!! I am thrilled to hear that you have been following your heart more and more even if it’s not always the most comfortable or the most accepted thing to do. Keep rocking it lady!! Lots of love to you!! xoxo
Michele 08/03/15
Loved this post! It was so refreshing and I love your two points to help us work through the feeling of betrayal. I agree with you wholeheartedly and I’ve found it’s so important not to dwell on the negative aspects of things. There’s no good that comes out of doing that at all. It only makes you more disappointed in yourself and keeps you stagnant in the same rut and not moving forward. But, when you choose to see each experience and each lesson as having a purpose, for you to gain SOMETHING – be it a truism about yourself, life or something or someone else- you’re able to have that compassion for yourself. You’re able to understand and accept that you didn’t just waste your time in that relationship or pursuing that business but those things were built into your journey from the outset. Those experiences are what molds you into the person you’re supposed to be, when you get to the place you’re purposed to be. There was something beautiful in it and you’re a better and different person because you went through it. When you can have that kind of outlook on life, it makes you feel so much lighter and free. Love you to pieces Nitika!!!
Nitika 08/04/15
Yessssss Michele this is IT! I love what you wrote and agree with you completely. So thrilled to see that this video impacted you and that you got something out of watching it. Love your insights + sending lots of love your way! xoxo
sweta 08/08/15
Nitika, this is such a great topic! I recently went through this experience when I was going through some resistance on
creating roots in California. Recenty I have moved from NY with my hubby and 4 y/o based on intuition: I got several visits from my animal totem (owl) when I was out here for a workshop and within a month we moved. Until recently we were subletting and finding magical places and miraculous experiences like my hubby getting a job 10 mins from the area we loved, etc. But when we started to look for something long term we were one week from being with out a place and I knew I had to go within to see what was up. I discovered that I didn’t fully trust my decisions because I made some bold intuitive decisions when I left my academia job and they didn’t turn out “as expected” I had subconcsious thoughts like “why would God have me spend so much $$, time and traveling to go to all these business groups if it wouldn’t make me successful?” I thought this because I joined programs I would normally never join but had strong intuitive visions and I followed them. Then it hit me! Being in these very high-level groups with folks who had what “I wanted” showed me what it was really like behind the scenes. I met so many people who “made it” and when I got to sincerely speak to them, I heard how they were still unsatisfied and felt they had to sacrafice a lot like having a family and were still feeling quite unowrthy underneath. It became clear to me that I had not failed, or wasted time and money but that I was deeply saved. Had I chased success in that way I know I would not have been satisfied, it would never have been enough and maybe hurt my family life. I’m not saying I don’t want success but it’s helped me redifine success in so many ways. I had to give immense self-compassion to myself because I was taking a lot of responsibility for “not getting the outcome sold” it brought my husband and I closer and he made me see that these were not just my decisions and they were not failures but experiences. Within a day of dedicated self compassion and constantly saying “I am willing to forgive myself”, getting support and prayer from a dear friend in nature and thanking GOD for giving me the lesson so early on in sharing my life calling we got a place in the exact neighborhood we wanted!
Nitika 08/09/15
I so love this Sweta! It can be so painful to have things not go the way we feel or think they should be going, especially when some parts of our lives seem so divinely guided. Learning how to see all paths and turns as a part of the greater journey is SO powerful, even when it sometimes feels kind horrible or scary. So excited for your realizations + sending you (and your hubby) lots of love! xx
Joanna 08/18/15
I love this video!
Anytime I have been in a relationship that I knew, and truly believed was the one, and it didn’t turn out that way, I felt devastated, beyond repair! But as you said with time, I learned to let go of my anger and know that those past relationships happened for a reason, they all taught me something about myself. Thanks for sharing your story!
Nitika 08/19/15
Oh Joanna I am so glad to hear that this video was helpful and resonated with you. Feeling betrayed by your intuition can be SO devastating, but it sounds like you have found ways to work things out over time. I love that + am sending you lots of love! xoxo
danielle 08/24/15
funny i was married for 15 years thought i was doin the right thing and then i woke up and realized i was doing what was right for him and i lost me. now i have 2 young boys and getting divorced. im scared lost and trying everything out there to find me. i just finished IIN a holistic health coaching course and just ;ike my personal training and yoga training and skincare training im doing none of them. i have confidence to learn but not to actually start things going. what can i do to stop being so hard on myself and do what i love and help others grow and smile. by the way i even started dating a woman . lol