A Sobering Realization About My Work

April 1, 2017 Career, Lifestyle

Last week I was sitting with my therapist and started to open up to her about where I am at with my work. I explained that I still feel completely connected to the big, bold and beautiful dreams that I have always had within me.  The dreams of building a self-love empire where I sell products that represent tangible self-love, that I have books published which support people on their self-love journey and possibly have an app and some relationship to media sprinkled in between.  It’s been the dream for as long as I knew what dreams were and for the past seven years of building my business I have been taking steps towards that dream.  My desire to have my own Talk Show was rooted in this bigger future vision. My excitement about working with the luxury skincare brand Fresh and being on QVC always felt like an even bigger deal because I knew I was that much closer to where I wanted to be.  I was always planning, pushing, leaping and pushing some more.  It was also completely normal to be in this high-energy forward movement all the time as practically everyone I knew was doing the same.  They were launching programs, coaching thousands of people in courses, publishing books and getting TV shows to star in.  My community is no joke when it comes to achieving greatness so naturally I was in good company and it all felt completely comfortable and normal (whatever that means).

Until about the middle of 2016 where everything changed for me.  There are so many layers to this change that I still haven’t fully figured out yet, but today I wanted to share a small piece of it all in the hopes that it might help you with whatever shifts you’ve been experiencing lately as well.  2016 was a challenging year for so many reasons, but it isn’t always completely clear why or how.  Sure we can say it’s all because of the political climate or maybe there were one or two big things that brought your vibe down.  But in truth, I find that 2016 was challenging for me because it brought me to my knees in every area of my life.  What I was left with was a sobering grip on what’s real. Not what’s possible, not what I want to magically manifest as I have for years and not even what I want to put on my vision board.  What is REAL.  What is TRUE.  When I write that now, it sounds exciting to have so much truth in my life but as it was happening it was completely brutal.

I had to get real about my finances. I had to get real about my health. I had to get real about my relationships. And I had to get real about my career. Every time I tried to push my life forward in one of these areas as I always have, I got pushed back into what’s real.

Where my career is concerned, I have found that what’s real for me is that I want to help people. That’s what has always been the driving force with everything that I do, but somewhere in between I got caught-up in the high of achievement.  Does that make sense?  There is such a high when you complete a task or accomplish a goal that before you know it your whole life can become about when you’re going to get “high” next and your connection to the present becomes fleeting and at times even insignificant.  Woah.  I just read that back to myself and felt exhaustion in my cells.  The only thing is that I still have this major goals and dreams, so how do I achieve them if I am not chasing the high or pushing everything forward in every moment?

I am a big believer that clarity is the key to everything in life and with this dilemma it is no different.  What if I just wrote to you, from my heart, because I simply just want to help and share my truth with you? Not to grow my list, not to get more followers and not to become a wellness rocstar.  I am used to writing you because I have something greater pushing me to do so but now, it’s just all different.  I could also say the same for posting on Instagram or creating events for my community.  What if it was all just about love and healing and not about becoming a major wellness mogul?

I have always spoken from my heart and been committed to being as authentic as possible, so I am not saying that I have been manipulating with my work ever since the start. Not even close!  But my loves, if we are meant to truly own who we are, go inward and be on a spiritual journey, then there is always much more to do where authenticity and truth are concerned.

So now it’s your turn.  Where have you been chasing the “high” in life and not allowing yourself to be fully grounded in the truth of this very moment?  Is it with men?  Or maybe with finances and chasing paychecks?  There are so many ways we all do this.  So today I ask you to take a few deep breathes and reflect on this for yourself, then share it with me in the comments below.  I always love hearing from you and knowing that we are on this self-love journey together. Love you. So much.

Thank you for reading.

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