As someone who’s been on an up and down journey when it comes to romantic relationships, I sometimes wonder, “what’s wrong with me?” Why hasn’t he arrived yet? Are my standards too high? Should I lower them?
It can get overwhelming because the thought of not meeting my match is scary! Sure, it’s an irrational fear, but it’s very, very real.
Can you relate?
Well, today’s video interview quieted my fears big time. Kathleen Graham, my dear friend and the founder of Wild Woman in Love, dishes out the three things women often do to repel their dream guy without even realizing it.
So powerful!
Hint: those 3 things have a lot to do with how we think. Watch the video now and be sure to join the conversation in the comments below. Kathleen and I want to know which of the 3 things is something you do.
P.S. Get your free gift from Kathleen here.
Comments
Marsha 09/24/15
Thank you for this !
Alice 09/24/15
I admire your cheerfulness and charismatic disposition. You truly are an admirable person.
Priya 09/26/15
Hi Nitika and Kathleen!
Thank you for the wonderful tips – they really resonate with some things that have made me feel stuck being single. I’m 26 years old, a 4th year medical student, and my longest relationship has probably been only a few months. I’ve essentially been single for maybe 99% of my life. And for the most part I’ve tried to make peace with it – I’m pretty emotionally independent and have enjoyed the freedom that comes with being single. However, over the years I can’t help but think that I’ve been doing something wrong. Recently, a ton of my friends have been getting engaged or married and while I’m nothing but happy for them, I still wonder if there’s something everyone is doing or has figured out that I haven’t. It’s really more like awe and fascination rather than jealousy. Was it the right place and right time? Or did these girls just express themselves in a more natural and authentic way that I haven’t been able to? I really identified with the first and third mistakes you addressed: feeling like there’s something wrong with me and doubting that the love I’m looking for is out there.
I don’t mean to sound self-deprecating when I say this, because I do see value in practicing self love – I prioritize self care, exercise, practice yoga and meditation, and read uplifting material. But, I still feel the need to constantly focus on self-improvement: for example, I feel like I don’t have enough interests or hobbies and I’m afraid that boys will find me boring or uninteresting if I don’t share their interests or have my own that I’m passionate about. I used to be have more in the past but once my life got so busy with medical school, I’ve felt disconnected from activities that bring me joy. I feel like I have to be a more interesting version of myself in order to attract the guy I want, and whatever interests I do have are not enough. This is something I’ve noticed that I’m more self-conscious about over the years, especially when I see other women pursing their interests or living passionately, and just having more fun in life.
The other thing I’ve noticed is that I seem to attract either overly available guys that I’m not interested in or unavailable guys that I am interested in. I know better now (from past experience) to not seriously pursue these unavailable men, yet they still seem to appear in my life. I also noticed that guys that I am not interested in keep trying to reach out and pursue me, and I just end up irritated and exhausted. It seems like I find only one extreme or the other. For a few years, I became a but cynical about boys, and felt that I was somehow always attracting the wrong ones and started to doubt that love was out there for me. I was happy for those who were able to find it, but believed I was stuck in some way and prevented me from finding it. I’m trying to slowly change this perspective, but it hasn’t been easy.
I apologize for such a long and rambling comment! I’m not even sure what kind of question I was trying to ask; I think I was trying to just consolidate some thoughts I had on this topic. Any feedback would be sincerely appreciated! Thank you again for such a wonderful video and tips, I will really do my best to explore these tips more by reading your eBook.
Sincerely,
Priya
Kathleen 09/29/15
Hi Priya! Thank you so much for sharing your heart here with us!! I so feel you and your frustrations. Honey you are perfect as you are right now. There is nothing you need to do — additional hobbies etc — to make yourself more attractive to men. Do the things that bring you joy because they bring you joy and you love yourself enough to give yourself those life pleasures not because you think it’s what will help you find a man: that is a game that you cannot win dear one. What if you could trust that the man who has been divinely created for you is making his way to you in perfect divine timing – and that he will love ALL of you, just as you Are? Cultivating that trust and belief is the most important thing you can do to support yourself right now. Be sure to get the EBOOK and read more about the things you can do to avoid those mistakes that you’re falling into. You’re perfect and your man is out there, I promise you. Allow life to reveal the perfect timing for you and have the courage to wait for him. He will be magnificent. Xoxo kathleen ps. If you want more support I’ll be hosting free webinars starting next week called Attract Your Powerful Man– come learn more if you’re inspired to!
Michele Morales 10/05/15
Awesome! I loved this!!! Definitely going to share with my BF who I’m pretty sure you were describing. She does all 3 of these things. Eek is right! Thanks so much for the insight Kathleen!
Nitika 10/06/15
Oh yes!! Share it with her!! We want all of our loves to have lots of love in their lives!! xoxo