For most of my life, I was always pegged as an extrovert. And by looking at my instagram you would probably still assume that I am. Well, my love, you would be completely wrong. I’m what some people like to call a social introvert. I can be social when I need to but more often than not, I need time to hibernate and be with myself.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gone through many periods where that need to hibernate has left me confused and honestly very uncomfortable. Telling myself things like: You should be more active! You should to go to every party! You have to go out if someone invites you! Feeling the need to balance the social electricity of NYC with the restoration I so deeply craved in my heart, was not always easy.
But over time, I began to really understand that being comfortable with my need to have quality alone time was just a matter of me building my “healthy boundaries” muscle, becoming a “No Ninja,” and connecting more with my intuition. When I did this, I found that I was less depleted, less stressed out, and to be honest, way less irritable simply because I listened to my internal compass.
I was also able to fully show up for people when I did go out and socialize, because it was a total “yes” for me to be at the event or party I was attending. Giving myself space to spend time at home allowed me to really enjoy the times I spent being outward.
Plus, I developed a new love for winter. I know often times we can feel frustrated with the colder months, but I truly feel they are a gift. They are nature’s way of inviting us to stay in, get cozy, and go inward … with a cup of tea.
If you feel that you sometimes struggle with your desire to stay in vs. the social pressure to go out, here are some ways that you too can embrace hibernation.
- Do a social detox. Go through your social calendar for the next couple of weeks, and review every outing that you have agreed to. Do they feel like “yay, I can’t wait to go!” or more like a “why, God! Why me?!” Obviously if it feels like the latter, it’s time to set your boundaries and find a way to politely and lovingly bow out.
- Allow yourself to indulge. Don’t just sit on the couch and let the alone time pass you by, really tune into what your body, mind, and soul are craving. Is it a delicious dessert from a restaurant nearby that you only save for special occasions or do you want to buy yourself a candle with your favorite scent? Or even rent a movie that you’ve been dying to watch. This time is all about you. So how can you take it up a notch and indulge to the fullest?
- Let. It. GO! Your technology that is. While it would feel restorative to watch something awesome on TV, it won’t feel as good to be constantly plugged into work, emails, or social media. As much as I love my work, when I don’t give myself down time from it, I feel drained and it starts to become a job vs. a passion. So give yourself that time on the nights that you decide to take care of you.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. Are you someone who has an internal battle about staying in versus going out? Do you really crave alone time but feel like you shouldn’t miss out on anything? Please share with me in the comments below.