July 18, 2015

How to Love Yourself When Your Heart’s Been Crushed

Ah, break ups. They straight up suck. The acute pain that sits in your heart, the despair of loss, and the incredible fear of not knowing what to do without the other person.

So far, I’ve experienced two excruciating heartbreaks. One was in my early twenties when my ex-husband and I got divorced. The other just three years ago when I lost my best friend of 13 years as a result. In both cases, I was still seriously attached to each guy; I didn’t want to lose them, and I was afraid of what the future would be like without them.

Sound familiar?

In today’s video, I share three practices that have given me the strength to get through the darkest of heartbreaks. If you’re going through a break up, this will help you. I promise!

Now, I’d love to hear from you. How do you deal with a broken heart? What do you do to get through it? Please share your experience with me and the Love Entourage in the comments below.

Leave a Comment

I respond to every single comment myself, please leave me one below so we can chat!


  • Angela

    This is a great video. I love the tips. I experience heartbreak often and the key is just to feel it and be present in the moment. Denying those feelings just delays the healing process.

    • Nitika

      Thanks so much for your comment Angela, I am so happy that this video resonated with you. Sending you so much love as you heal today + always xoxo

  • Noleen

    I love this video! Thanks so much for posting it up. I’ve been going through a tough time lately with my partner & have been so confused. I’ve had a few heartbreaks before & I feel like I don’t have it in me to put myself out there anymore. I feel like my relationships will always fail so I’d rather avoid it all together. I feel so afraid of what my future will hold. I’m in my mid 20’s now & now starting to feel the pressure because I also come from an Indian background & I’m constantly getting questioned about my future. What’s your advice in coping with this? Those constant comments from people about ending up alone if I leave it too late is really starting to get to me.

    • Nitika

      Hi Noleen! Thank you so much for your comment, I can absolutely relate to what you wrote and have spoken to my friends about this exact same thing, many times. There is a certain amount of detachment that one must develop in order to let the comments and views of others not effect them so much, and that might take time. However one thing I have always said to myself whenever the opinions of other people start to overwhelm me….if I make a choice and am unhappy, the only person that has to deal with that pain is ME. Yes this road I am on might take longer and that might make other people uncomfortable, but if I chose something that I don’t want, I will be uncomfortable for potentially the rest of my life. You are STRONG. You got this beauty, follow your heart and know that you are still young + have your whole life ahead of you. Promise! I believe in you. Lots of love xoxo

  • Lina

    First off, I love this video! you have a beautiful soul and thank you for taking the time out to help those of us who are dealing with heartbreak. I have dealt with a great deal of heartbreak throughout my life and I haven’t even been in a serious relationship. I have always been rejected. It seems like men approach me with promises of love and devotion but a several months down the line, they change. They turn their approach around and make it seem like they are the victims and its all my fault. The ‘best’ excuse is the “I’m not ready for a relationship and I’ve told you this” after they have clearly stated in the beginning that that is what they wanted from me. Rejection hurts and have been tough on my self esteem. Every rejection just takes a piece of me. I have been taken advantage of im every aspect of the word. Emotionally I am just drained:(

    • Nitika

      Lina, thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your story with me. I totally get the pain and heart ache you must feel and I am so sorry that you are feeling so drained! I recently started to feel VERY drained in my life and relationships as well. It was hard for me to do this, but something I had to do was to allow myself to take a real break. I wrote down everything I wanted to FEEL in my relationships (romantic + otherwise) and then I prayed on it and asked God to guide me. I was DONE. I couldn’t try anymore or pursue anymore. I needed to say yes to myself and that was about all I could handle. I invite you to try this too. If you are feeling drained, even though it might feel uncomfortable and even scary, it’s happening for a reason. The best thing to do is to get clarity, ask for support, and take a BREAK. Love yourself first beauty, you totally got this. Sending so much love your way xoxo

  • Meghan Domadia

    hey saw your video .. Just recently went thru the biggest heart break ever.. Was suppose to get married last month and he broke up with me 4 mos before… I did all the things you mentioned in your video but now so lost !

    • Nitika

      Hi Meghan…thanks for you note. I feel you on this one. I really do. When I got divorced, it broke my heart in a way that I can’t even fully put in to words. The only thing I can tell you is the one tip I didn’t put in the video, it all takes time. I know that is the LAST thing you want to hear but it’s the truth. Each heart break is different and unfolds at its own pace. Try to be patient and keep practicing the steps, over and over, until it feels better. Sending you so much love + so sorry for your heart break xo

  • Justine Luzzi

    This video was so beautiful! The information was simply stunning. BUT I’m also in love with your audience delivery! Do you have any tips on that you can share with an aspiring blogger/intuition coach/love ambassador 🙂

    • Nitika

      Aww thanks so much Justine! It’s really all about being willing to be as vulnerable and authentic as possible. It might sound generic but honestly, I work my BUTT off to be more and more vulnerable with everything I share. It’s a practice and a choice every time. Try it + let me know how it goes! Lots of love xoxo

  • Yahaira

    Thank you so much. I’m better now. But this shattered relationship has been tough on me. Thank you again for your video.

  • Cherry Gordon

    i and my husband, We both put our capital together to open a supermarket and since then we have been living happily without any problem. I always discuss about marriage with, but he replies me with, we will soon get married. I was surprise on last two weeks Friday evening when I was in my brother’s house, he called me on phone and told me that we can no longer carry on with the relationship because he has find himself a rich a lady whom he want to get married to. I was shocked and hospitalize for 4 days. I was so tired and tried to take my life because I truly love him. All the investment was opened in his name and signature and I am left with nothing. One Sunday evening when I was searching online for help, I was directed to fountain water coven,fountainwatercoven@yahoo.com or whatsapp on +2349054913842 , I contacted him and he told me what I need to provide for he to bring back my happiness, immediately i Provide it for him he told me to wait between 48hrs my Fiance will come back to me, i waited for 48hrs the Next Morning i don’t believe who i saw with my two eyes Knocking My Door and he propose to me and said i want to Marry you , i was in Tears of Joy and we are Happy Together now, thanks to fountain water coven for Helping me bring my man back to me .

    • Nitika

      This is so beautiful Cherry! I am so happy for you + appreciate you sharing your sweet story with us!! Lots of love and congratulations xx

  • Amy

    Nitika – Thank you for this beautiful video. I came across it as just the right time – I’m a month into a break up and it is a web of emotion! Prior to this relationship, I had been single for about 8 years, and really felt that he was the one. Our break up has been complicated and we are both eager to remain friends – I wish I could fast forward to the time when romantic feelings were gone and we could continue to be in each other’s life. Any thoughts or experience there?


    • Nitika

      Hi Amy! Thank you so much for your comment and your vulnerability. I have totally been in the place where I just want to hurry up and be friends with the person I once called my love. Unless something tragic happens, it’s normal, I think. The love is still there and that can be a bit confusing. I have found that this part can’t be rushed. Some times it will take 5 days or 5 weeks or maybe even years before you are BOTH at the same place. One person might feel ready when the other still isn’t and the only way to know, is to give yourselves space and take very small baby steps towards each other when it feels safe. I do think that the healthiest thing for you to do is to focus on YOUR healing. Not so much on being friends with your ex. That will come at the right time. I promise. Sending your tender heart so much love xx

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