Are you currently in a state where you feel as though you’re constantly crumbling right now? Like there is grief, sadness, loss and an emotional weight that might not even appear to have an exact starting point for why it’s showing up? I have been feeling this for about a month now and spent much of that time feeling embarrassed and beating myself up for not being able to figure it out or get over it. After all, that’s what I am best at! I love getting the root cause of my emotions and transforming them. It’s my jam. But lately it’s like no matter what I do the emotions are just not shifting like I had hoped they would.
Over the last two weeks I have started acknowledging my experience to some of my closest friends, only to find out that every single one of them has been going through the same exact thing. We each have a few tangible reasons in our own lives for why things could be feeling this way, but the overall consensus has been “I don’t know why, but I am just feeling really depressed. I know I might be upset about A, B or C thing but this feels much deeper than any of those things. It feels like I am grieving but I don’t know why because I haven’t lost a loved one recently.”
I decided to write this blog today because I figured if the majority of my friends are feeling this and we all thought we were the only ones, some of you might be dealing with the same thing.
After waking up so many mornings in a heavy fog of sadness or feeling numb as I try to socialize and continue working, I have realized a few things that have helped me put one foot in front of the other and keep going. I hope these help you too.
The World Is Grieving. After speaking to a dear friend and long time astrologer Patrice Kamins recently and telling her what I was experiencing, she helped me see that the entire world is going through a death and rebirth process and that is also being reflected in our own lives. All of the pain, suffering, trauma and crumbling happening in our world right now is truly beyond what our minds and hearts can even understand and if you’re a highly sensitive person or deeply empathetic – you’re feeling ALL of it. Every paradigm is trying to be rewritten in this moment and there has to be a major unlearning and rewiring in order for that to happen. Each of us are kind of like our own little worlds within our own lives so that’s happening on a personal level for each of us too. It’s SO much loves. And if you don’t totally understand what I mean, don’t worry, it’s a lot.
DO NOT ISOLATE. I talk about isolation a lot as it relates to struggling with a chronic illness, but isolation is real for a lot of people and it can be particularly tempting when we are going through it. That is the exact moment to NOT isolate. We are not meant to deal with our lives on our own without love, affection or support. It’s also unhealthy to cut yourself off from receiving those things and when you’re struggling, you need all of that more than ever! You might not be up for connecting with everyone or socializing at a big party but find your balance. I have acknowledged over the past few weeks that I am not up for being social but I also don’t want to spend too much time alone. For a while there I was finding myself being super lonely because I kept declining invitations to big parties and events which would leave me alone on my couch. EEK! What I realized was that I wasn’t up for a big event but I was craving deeply connected one-on-one time. So I started to speak up and ask for that and now I feel like I have lots of it popping up throughout my week which is such a relief. I also know that there are only certain types of people who I can feel really safe sharing this messy life stuff with. Who are ok with me not being ok and who have the capacity to be witness me being in it without making them uncomfortable. Those are the people I am making plans with. So choose wisely right now, even if you only have two people like that in your life, stick with them for the moment.
Acknowledge What You’re Doing Right. This is one that I really have to remind myself of constantly throughout my day. In moments when I am not able to be “perfectly happy” – whatever that means – I find that I only add fuel to the depressing fire by beating myself up for what I am feeling on top of everything. So I make a conscious decision to stop frequently throughout my day and acknowledge what I am doing RIGHT in those moments. Even the smallest thing has me feel like I am being a bit more loving to myself and it feels like the internal hug I was craving. Sometimes I acknowledge that I got all the work done I had wanted to, that I cooked myself a nourishing meal or that I cleaned up my apartment. It all feels like a win right now and taking a moment to notice it all is incredibly encouraging.
I really hope that these suggestions are helpful to you my loves. If you’ve been going through it for reasons that you can exactly understand or maybe for a few reasons that you can, just know that you are not alone. Although the summer is a time to be outside and be social for a lot of people, just listen to what you’re soul really needs and know that if you’re craving a more mellow and reflective summer, that’s ok too. I love you all so much and would love to hear from you in the comments below. Did this post bring up anything for you? Have you been going through it too? How have you been handling it? Also if you need support or have questions, leave them below and I will respond directly. Sending you a virtual hug.