What if God never left us? I’ve recently been reminded that he/she never does but this isn’t a truth that I have always embraced. If you don’t use the word God, I totally get that but I ask you to read on and be open to the message in this blog anyway. When I speak of God, I speak of the most loving energy in the Universe that is everything and nothing all at once. It is within us, around us, above us and below us and it is not based on any religion. So, keep reading and try to keep your heart open to what your version of God is, not mine.
I have been a fair-weather friend to God over the years. When I got an awesome gig or fell in love, I felt that God so got my deepest desires and knew I was worthy of having my dreams fulfilled. Score! God loves me and we are besties. When I was stuck in bed and struggling with my health or completely broke because I had gone too long without booking one of those awesome gigs, God basically is nowhere to be found and doesn’t think I am worthy of anything.
And yes, I am aware of how dramatic that is but I am an Aries so it comes with the territory!
This was REAL to me. And the thing is, I wouldn’t realize that I was hating on God or that I had decided to totally abandon my belief in him until way after the fact.
I would walk around angry, feeling super alone and I had a deep sense of frustration bubbling up underneath every moment of my life. The whole time I knew something was completely “off” but I couldn’t figure out what it was.
I have come to realize that it’s for reasons like this that daily practices are SO important. When I am meditating regularly, taking time in my evenings to center myself or consciously choosing to add joy throughout my day – everything works better. I can’t help but see God in more and more moments. I can’t stop myself from feeling God in my conversations and talking to him throughout the day.
Take Friday for example. I had woken up that morning and was truly committed to seeing miracles that day and told God that as I opened my eyes. I plopped down on my couch and did a 10 minute abundance meditation that I had really liked and legit felt like I could rule the world once I was done. Side note: I have been a total brat about meditation for most of my life so every time I actually do meditate I basically feel like Beyonce.
I went about my day with an awesome spotify playlist in my ears and felt great! Then, I got a stomach-turning email. The kind of email where everything blows up in your face and you’re like, wait. WHATTTTT?! I stood on the corner of 16th street and 5th avenue, about to have a panic attack and thought, no no I was having such a good day this can’t be happening!
Because you know what? In that moment when I got the email, my deep inner thought was, there is NO WAY that God could be here with this nonsense happening in my email!!! What. The. Flip.
The only difference between this moment and all of the other times in my life where I have had a moment just like this, was that I saw what was happening. I truly saw myself and how fast I was abandoning God and all of my peace over one email. I also pulled one of the mantras that I had heard in my meditation that morning and repeated it over and over until I got myself back to center.
Have you ever been in a moment like that? When you get one negative comment on Instagram or a boy doesn’t text you back or your insurance messes up your medication (this has happened to me way too many times) and you completely LOSE it.
Like, bye God. Nice knowing you. I am going to freak out and pretend like you have lost my address because it makes me feel like I have some control over a situation to put it all on myself when I actually have no control over anything. Yup! It’s not cute at all but it happens to the best of us.
So my love, I want you to take these next seven days and start to observe the moments where you feel like you totally forget that you can lean on God, the Universe or whatever higher power you connect with. That all encompassing and beautiful divine energy is always there for us, whether you can feel it or not. It never leaves us and the more we have faith in that, the more we can have faith in ourselves and in the fact that our lives are working out in a far better way than we could ever imagined.
Now I want to hear from you in the comments below. Did this blog resonate with you at all? What are some of the moments when you find that you abandon your higher power? Do you have trouble connecting with your higher power? Talk to me about it below and I promise to support you through it all. Love you!