Why Happiness is a Moment to Moment Fight

March 6, 2016 Lifestyle

Everyday we open up our laptops to find article after article on our favorite blogs with headlines like…

10 Things to Do to be Happy Everyday
The Secret to Staying Happy for Life
Feel Happier in Just 5 Minutes

While these articles are great and I’ve definitely written similar ones myself, my mission is to let you know that happiness is not a pill. There’s no quick fix to finding it. And there’s not a list of things that I can give you that will suddenly ignite happiness for you and change your life forever. Even though that would be freaking awesome.

The truth of the matter is, all of these articles, self-help books, and even inspiring instagram accounts, only work if you work it. Let me give you an example. When I was going through the hardest times in my life with my health, my divorce, and living alone in NYC for the first time in my early 20s, I wanted more than anything to find the secret to happiness. To figure out how I could get from feeling alone and depressed to totally joyful.

I started reading lots of self-help books and took lots of courses. I even got trained to be a life coach. Everything I did, I went head first into thinking that “this” was the answer. This was the thing that was going to take me from sad to happy.

To cut to the chase, that’s not what happened.

Yes, all of these things helped in the fabric of my happy life. They have all had an impact on it. And made a difference for me. But I had to choose to practice these concepts everyday. It wasn’t possible for me to experience them once and be forever changed.

We have to fight for happiness.

I’m really passionate talking about this because during this time in my life, I really believed that there was an answer that was going to fix me. And with that belief, I actually did more harm than good. I put so much pressure on myself to be happy.

I would look around and see these “happy” faces promising me the world, ‘true bliss,’ ‘ecstasy,’ and ‘boundless joy.’ Only to be disappointed that a week after experiencing their words of wisdom, it would wear off. And instead of thinking it was the process that was flawed, I turned that inward and truly believed there was something wrong with me.

Can you relate to this? I have a feeling many of you can, which is why I felt it was important for me to share. Yes, I am a person in the media, I share tips and tools and articles every week, and I constantly post on Instagram about it.

But the point isn’t that I have the magic pill, the point is that taking these resources and doing the work every day–sometimes moment to moment– will work for you.

There will absolutely still be bad days (gasp!) even with all the work you’re doing. That doesn’t mean that you’re flawed or failing. It doesn’t even mean that the material is flawed. All it means is that you’re human. And bringing a deep level of compassion for yourself in this journey to inner peace, happiness, and true love is the work. That’s the work, my friends.

How much compassion can you have for yourself and others in every moment? Your ability to increase this capacity for love is the work and what will lead you to longer moments of happiness.

So the next time you take a peek inside your favorite blog, book, or Instagram account, please keep this in mind. All of these happy images are a gift, but they only work if you work them.

Now, I’d love to hear from you! What happiness practices have you tried and dropped like it’s hot? Or what have you kept up that still works for you? Please share them in the comments below.

Thank you for reading.

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