Your Compare & Despair Survival Guide

September 27, 2015 Career, Health, Lifestyle, Relationships

Picture this: You wake up. It’s beautiful out. You feel like you’ve accomplished everything you needed to the day before. You’re ready for an awesome day and are excited for all of the things you have planned. Life is good!

Until… you pull out your phone to check facebook, instagram or your “drug of choice” and realize you didn’t make the cover of your favorite magazine, you don’t have a boyfriend who just proposed to you, and you chose gluten free pizza over green juice last night.

Let the compare and despair begin.

Have you ever heard that term before? Compare and despair? I’ve been hearing it for years from various thought leaders in the wellness space–everyone from Oprah to Elizabeth Gilbert to Brene Brown. The consensus? It’s totally toxic to our health and well-being.

In this day and age, where social media is intertwined into everything we do, and the things that trigger us are quite literally ALWAYS in our faces to see, it’s no wonder we’re more inclined to compare than to be content.

As a recovering compare and despair-er, I’ve come up with some secrets to kick this very bad habit.

  1. Admit you have a problem. If you don’t first acknowledge that when you open up that Instagram app, you immediately check what everyone else is up to only to find yourself sulking about your own life, then you certainly won’t realize you have a problem to begin with. Making it that much harder to make a change. So be honest with yourself and start to track how often you mindlessly review your feeds and feel like crap!
  2. Unfollow your triggers. I wrote a post not too long ago about all of the Instagram peeps I follow that only uplift me. This is what you want to fill your feed with, not accounts that are a constant reminder of what you don’t have. We’re not saying it’s their fault or that there’s something wrong with them, I’m simply asking you to acknowledge that it’s not healthy for you. So those 3 or 4 people you follow that always seem to get under your skin–it’s time to say buhbye. Send them love and unfollow them immediately.
  3. Post and let go. I know some of you may be feeling like it’s hard to disengage from social media because it’s part of your job or important to connect with the people you love. I totally get it and still want you to be on social media if it makes you happy. But do it mindfully. Instead of spending 20 minutes caught in the social media time suck, just post and get outta there.
  4. Go straight to gratitude. Sometimes even when you practice these methods, there’s a residue of insecurity left behind. The most effective way to rinse off those bad feelings is to practice gratitude. Challenge yourself to name three things that you are truly grateful for. It will shift your mindset in a flash.

The next time you find yourself getting triggered by your Instagram feed, use one of these tips to get you back to what’s real.

Now I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Have you been experiencing compare and despair? If so, what do you do to get yourself out of it? We want to know your secret

Thank you for reading.

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